One important pattern I repeatedly observe is that a dysregulated nervous system almost always goes hand in hand with rigid perceptions about ourselves, the world, and relationships.

I frequently notice, in trauma and body-oriented work, a particular expectation related to the idea of “release”: releasing trauma, releasing emotions stored in the body, or having an intense emotional discharge that would produce almost immediate transformation and healing.

For many people, especially those who grew up in critical, unpredictable, or emotionally unsafe environments, simply saying “no,” having needs, or prioritizing themselves at times can activate guilt, shame, or the fear of becoming “selfish” or “narcissistic.”

In recent years, terms such as “self-love,” “self-worth,” and “self-care” have become increasingly popular. At the same time, the word “narcissism” is now used almost everywhere: on social media, in podcasts, popular psychology, and everyday conversations.

In this article I write about the way parental anxiety, hypervigilance, and overprotection can influence the development of autonomy, self-trust, and the child’s capacity to feel safe in the world and in their own inner resources.