I frequently notice, in trauma and body-oriented work, a particular expectation related to the idea of “release”: releasing trauma, releasing emotions stored in the body, or having an intense emotional discharge that would produce almost immediate transformation and healing.

For many people, especially those who grew up in critical, unpredictable, or emotionally unsafe environments, simply saying “no,” having needs, or prioritizing themselves at times can activate guilt, shame, or the fear of becoming “selfish” or “narcissistic.”

In recent years, terms such as “self-love,” “self-worth,” and “self-care” have become increasingly popular. At the same time, the word “narcissism” is now used almost everywhere: on social media, in podcasts, popular psychology, and everyday conversations.

In this article I write about the way parental anxiety, hypervigilance, and overprotection can influence the development of autonomy, self-trust, and the child’s capacity to feel safe in the world and in their own inner resources.

This article is an invitation to take a closer look at your relationship with yourself, with your own anger, and with your own aggression—not to encourage impulsive expression, but to understand what happens when we do not allow ourselves to feel it at all.