Developmental Trauma and the Challenge of Building New Habits

We live in the age of information. We already know that movement, meditation, and balanced nutrition are good for us. Today, countless sources remind us of this.

And yet, for many of us, turning that knowledge into daily habits remains a real challenge. Beyond what neuroscience teaches us about how the brain works, I want to share a perspective through the lens of developmental trauma. From this viewpoint, the struggle to build and sustain new habits is not only about biology, but also about the way we learned to speak to ourselves, the way we motivate ourselves—shaped by how we were once “motivated,” rewarded, or punished into certain behaviors, or forced to abandon others. A child who has experienced control, intrusion, lack of respect, or even abuse in response to their choices, often develops a deep resistance to coercion. As adults, we may unconsciously repeat that parental, punitive voice—the one that imposes, threatens, criticizes, or shames. Instead of supporting autonomy, it violates it once again. And the part of us that longs for freedom and respect pushes back—even when the habit itself would be beneficial. The result: good intentions that are hard to maintain. Self-Determination Theory echoes this truth: sustainable motivation arises when three basic psychological needs are honored—autonomy (to feel I am choosing), competence (to take achievable steps), and relatedness (to not be alone in the process). When we threaten or pressure ourselves, we undermine autonomy. When we set impossible standards, we lose competence. When we try to do everything alone, we lose relatedness. No wonder habits don’t take root. But what if we change our inner tone? What if, instead of “you must” or “otherwise you’ll fail,” we began with: “I want to move because I long to feel more vitality.” “I choose to take a few steps today, for myself.” “I offer this practice as care, not punishment.” This is the voice of autonomy—compassionate, caring, encouraging. A voice that honors our inner freedom and shifts motivation from pressure into authentic desire.

In the end, it’s not a lack of information that holds us back. It’s the way we relate to ourselves, to our bodies, and to the process of change.

That is why I created The Body-Mind Story—sessions of somatic practice and yoga for emotional health, where understanding meets lived experience. It is a therapeutic space where we explore, with gentleness, respect, and curiosity—rather than criticism or shame—what it truly means to grow healthier habits. So if you struggle to sustain new habits, maybe it’s not willpower you’re missing. Maybe what you need is a new inner voice—and a community that supports you in rewriting the story of your body and mind.